Parents

I have been pondering the role of parents in our lives.  I watched Joe Jackson on the Pierce Morgan show and I have had a discussion about what parents are "supposed to be."  Joe Jackson the notorious hard handed father of Michael and Janet Jackson not defending but stating his need to be strict with his children as gangs were prevalent where they lived.  He demanded that his children  call him Joe, not Dad and his children were fearful of him.  Before they became famous and he worked hard to give his family the basics.  He loved his children and he was the driving force behind their success.

It's hard to think about parenting without thinking about my own parents.  My Dad was a truck driver which meant he was gone a lot.  We didn't have cell phones or face time and  sometimes, as a little girl, I couldn't remember what he looked like.  My Dad is not a perfect man but he is a good man.  He made some huge mistakes but he always put his family first.  Except for the time, he wouldn't pick me and Jerry up because he was playing poker.  We were grown up and we found a way home.  We laughed about it then and we laugh about it now.   My Dad was strict and big and scary.  I was afraid of him which kept me out of trouble for the most part.  He also had his standard lectures about driving, riding with people who didn't know how to drive, being followers, quitting, blah blah blah.  My brother Jerry and I would often say to each other, "I got the ________ lecture today."  He isn't perfect but he is a good Dad and I respect and love him very much.

Mom-- the woman who held it all together.  She put us to bed every night, she took care of us when we were sick, and many times she suffered in silence.  As a mother, I can not imagine losing a child but I also can't imagine seeing my child go through the pain and changes that my sister did before she died.  She couldn't stay in bed or grieve for days, she had three other children to care for.  She didn't go out to the bars or complain to her friends that she didn't get to have fun when she was young.  She stood by our Dad through thick and thin.  She reinforced his decisions and she loved him.  She took care of us, she took care of our home and she showed us what it meant to survive most hardships in the only way she knew how.  You know what?  They weren't perfect and I'm sure if I wanted to, I could find some reasons why this should affect my psyche in many ways but I'm so thankful for the foundation they gave me.

In the beginning our parents brought us into the world and they took care of  us until we could take care of ourselves.  When I left home to go to college my Dad told me that I was on my own now and he could no longer tell me what to do and he could only hope that he taught me right.  From that point on, they didn't tell me what to do even when they did not agree with my choices.  They did not lecture me when I made poor choices.  They gave me opinions and they watched sometimes in silence while I forged my own path.  Parents and being a parent is important but in the end we are responsible for our own choices.  We are responsible for living day to day and taking care of our own families.  We are responsible for finding a way to be happy even when it's not so easy.  Parents are important to our foundation but good parents and parents who make poor choices still create "happyish" and successful adults when those adults DECIDE to do this for themselves.  I'm not a perfect parent but I'm a parent that loves my son more than I've ever loved anyone.  I am proud of him and I love him and that's the most important part of being a parent-- in my opinion.