I just returned home from my 30 year class reunion. This past weekend was one of the best experiences in my life. We didn't feel that we needed to impress each other and due to our age, many of our insecurities have passed. We were able to reminisce, laugh and share our thoughts about each other back then as well as some of the things we are going through right now. It was a very authentic time for us. Some of you who read this will know my classmates and some of you will not but you may have someone like this in your life.
I grew up in a very small town of 600 people and there were 11 people in my graduating class--7 boys and 4 girls. From the time she moved to our town from Texas Sharon Chapman and I were best friends. We did everything together, we strategized together, we dressed alike and we followed almost pararell paths in life although we lost touch with each other for many years. As teenage girls we had many hopes and dreams and we had many boyfriends. I remember feeling very unpopular next to her. She was always the prettiest and the most athletic. I often felt that most of our friends wanted to be friends with her and we were a package deal so they got me too whether they wanted it that way or not. She was always loyal to me and our partnership was always unwavering until our Senior year. I made a horrible decision to break one of our pacts. I'm crying as I write this because we can not change the past and some of these decisions we made back then still cause regret because we hurt someone that we loved and cherished and you can't take those moments back. Sharon and I were nominated to run for homecoming queen when we were Seniors but we declined because I wanted to try out for Junior Miss and she wanted to be a TSJC princess. In our school there was a tendency to spread the moments in the sun out and we didn't want to do the homecoming queen if it menat that we wouldn't get one of the other opportunities later in the school year. I tried out for a got Junior Miss but I was also nominated for TSJC. I told my Mom that I was going to decline TSJC but she felt that I shouldn't as I was the one nominated. Now, 30 years later, I feel bad that I did not decline it as I promised because it wasn't as important to me as it was to her. Our friendship wasn't as strong our Senior year and last night we said it was because I didn't go out for basketball that year but I think that was really the reason. Sharon has such a kind heart that she didn't hold that against me for the rest of our lives and we renewed our friendship later in the year and this weekend I saw her for the truely caring and loving person that she is. Clearly, I need to dedicate a blog to Sharon and our teenage friendship so I will move on it my next classmate. Thank you Sharon for orchestrating a fabulous weekend with many special LV touches.
Larry Morgan--the star athlete of our class. He wasn't the typcial athlete you see in the movies. The guy that was self-involved. The guy that eventually became the "Glory Days" man who could only talk about the football games or basketball games many years after high school ended. Larry went on to build a life knowing that the high school memories were meant to be just that. Larry is a great father and husband. He is still as handsome as he was in high school. Larry was always like a big brother to Sharon and I. We always could joke and laugh with him without all of the insecurities teenagers usually have. Larry and his brothers have always been reallly good friends with my Dad. He loves my Dad, like I do and I know that he thinks of him often. Thanks Hair Bear for being an incredible classmate,friends and person.
Like Sharon and I, Larry and Eric were always best buds--two peas in a pod. Eric was the class flirt. Easy going, cute and very sweet. I never remember him being mean to ANYONE. There were four of us that were in school together from Kindergarten to Senior year and Eric was one of them. When we were in Kindegarten, I had a crush on a little boy but I could never remember his name so I would tell my family that I liked the little boy in the brown shoes--it was Eric. He got quite the kick out of that. He is going through some tough times now as he seperated from his wife and he misses his daughters. I will pray for him that when their wounds heal that his daughters will let him back in their lives. He is open about his role in his marriage failure but he is a good person and he will make it through.this. I respect him more than ever because he accepts responsibility for his part and he is very open about it. It was so funny this weekend, we still had those moments when something would happen and we would give each other that look and we knew what the other was thinking.
I really believe that Whit is the one person that I misunderstood the most back then. We dated for a short time but I was insecure and I'm not good at making conversation for conversation sake. If I have something to say, I say it. If I want to know something, I ask it but back then I was really shy and I still am in some ways. I seem confident so often had the label of being stuck up. Anyway, because of my inability to make conversation we didn't have great conversations because Whit is also quiet. In him I see the eyes of an old soul who has grown to appreciate the peacefulness of La Veta and other places as well as having the strength to sit there and listen. He told me that he wanted to have nothing to do with La Veta for 20 years but now when he goes back there it kind of helps to ground him. I know what he means, I have always felt that about La Veta--like the Miranda Lambert song--"Out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself" "Thought if I could touch this so freely this brokeness in myself might start healing."
Cole the strong silent man who works hard. He recently married a lady who has an autistic child and he joined us for lunch even though he was worred about her. Cole is a good man. Joe Hocket another sweetie-pie with an infectious laugh. He married the sweetheart of the school, Susan Denton and they have three beautiful daughters. I think the combination of Hockett, Morgan and Denton means that they are practically related to everyone in La Veta. Chuck married my cousin Josephine and they have worked hard to raise their children who are very talented athletically. It was fun seeing our group and remembering the dynamics that we experienced at our school.
The rest of our classmates did not come. One person I understand as her experience in high school was mostly painful because of a couple of jerks with big mouths. If I could hug her now and tell her I'm sorry, I would. The others felt that it was not a time that they wanted to revisit in any way but we weren't sure why. We still missed them and I think it would have given them closure. We had many great memories from those days 30 years ago and now we can include the 30th year reunion at Octoberfest in La Veta. I always tell my nieces that everything that they are going through will be a distant memory when they go to college and experience the rest of the lifes stages. I wish I could strip their insecurities so they could see the best in themselves and others. When you get to this stage, you can see others for who they really are and you can appreciate them. We were an honery class who always wanted to do things different and we did. We have all went on to persue the things in life that are most important to us including reuniting to drink, eat, laugh and remember. Thank you my friends for the memories from then and now.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 years ago
My cousin Jody, suggested that I blog about 9/11. As all of you know, this blog is merely my forum to give my opinion, thus the moniker Spouting Geiser. This day was a tragic day, it was a shocking day and I have had many thoughts about that day but today, my aim is to honor those that died that day. To remind us that Bin Laden took our sense of securtiy but he can not take our freedom or our faith--God Bless America.
Ten years ago today, I was getting ready to go to work and watched in disbelief as airplanes crashed into the World Trade Center. Like many people, I went through the rest of the day in shock. As more details unfolded we cried and we wondered why. 9/11 will be one of those days--the days we ask each other, "Where were you when..." We've had other days like this--the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the day President Kennedy was assasinated, the day when.....
This time another man in the name of religion took away our feeling of security, he took away lives, he struck fear in our hearts. In some ways we united as citizens of the United States of America--the greatest country in the world. A country where all cultures and religions are accepted. A place where a little boy can dream of becoming the President. A country where we have a sense of safety and securtiy--until that day. On that day, our fear created new prejudice towards other Muslims because of one crazy man. We forgot that one who claimed to be Muslim struck our country not all Muslims meant us harm.
There will always be a crazy man who will convince others to follow him in his quest for power--leaving a path of death and destruction in his wake--all in the name of religion. The United States government ultimately ended that man's life but there will be others. Because of that man, we are more diligent. We are more aware. We now know how someone's prejudice and hatred can cause great harm. We cried many tears, we asked why and how but we did not forget that we are the United States of America. We will not forget those that unknowingly gave their lives in the name of freedom. We will not forget those that fight every day to protect our freedom. We will not forget and we will not give up.
Ten years ago today, I was getting ready to go to work and watched in disbelief as airplanes crashed into the World Trade Center. Like many people, I went through the rest of the day in shock. As more details unfolded we cried and we wondered why. 9/11 will be one of those days--the days we ask each other, "Where were you when..." We've had other days like this--the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the day President Kennedy was assasinated, the day when.....
This time another man in the name of religion took away our feeling of security, he took away lives, he struck fear in our hearts. In some ways we united as citizens of the United States of America--the greatest country in the world. A country where all cultures and religions are accepted. A place where a little boy can dream of becoming the President. A country where we have a sense of safety and securtiy--until that day. On that day, our fear created new prejudice towards other Muslims because of one crazy man. We forgot that one who claimed to be Muslim struck our country not all Muslims meant us harm.
There will always be a crazy man who will convince others to follow him in his quest for power--leaving a path of death and destruction in his wake--all in the name of religion. The United States government ultimately ended that man's life but there will be others. Because of that man, we are more diligent. We are more aware. We now know how someone's prejudice and hatred can cause great harm. We cried many tears, we asked why and how but we did not forget that we are the United States of America. We will not forget those that unknowingly gave their lives in the name of freedom. We will not forget those that fight every day to protect our freedom. We will not forget and we will not give up.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
So Sad
I'm sure you've seen this in the news--an 8 year old boy walking home from day camp in Brooklyn was murdered. Alledgedly he ran into this man outside a dentist office and asked him for help. I can not imagine what that little boys parents are going through. The little boy begged them to let him walk home alone. They rehearsed the route and agreed to it if they met half way. Despite this, he got lost, and he never got home. I keep thinking about them waiting for him to show up for the meeting. I'm sure they started looking for him but when there are so many blocks, so many wrong turns--where do you start? In retrospect they deeply regret that decision but can not go back to correct their fatal mistake.
I think about my little, soon to be 8 year old boy. There are people out there who are sick and would take advantage of a child in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hope that we are teaching him to make the right choices. I hope that we are teaching him how to make the right decision. In our homes, they are protected. In our homes, they are loved. In our homes, we don't have to worry about the people that will hurt our son. Yet, we must let them venture. We must let them experience the ways of the world. They will be hurt and they will make the wrong choice sometimes. It makes me sick to my stomache that those parents made a decision that their son was ready--he wasn't and it cost him and them with his life. How can we know? How can we protect them at every turn?
If I could talk to his parents, I would tell them, "How could you know?" God be with you.
I think about my little, soon to be 8 year old boy. There are people out there who are sick and would take advantage of a child in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hope that we are teaching him to make the right choices. I hope that we are teaching him how to make the right decision. In our homes, they are protected. In our homes, they are loved. In our homes, we don't have to worry about the people that will hurt our son. Yet, we must let them venture. We must let them experience the ways of the world. They will be hurt and they will make the wrong choice sometimes. It makes me sick to my stomache that those parents made a decision that their son was ready--he wasn't and it cost him and them with his life. How can we know? How can we protect them at every turn?
If I could talk to his parents, I would tell them, "How could you know?" God be with you.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Inspriation
I met someone today. Her name is Sherri and she is a great conversationalist, she is pretty and she is very talented. She is a massage therapist and specializes in pressure points to remove pain. When I scheduled the apointment with Sherri she informed me that she had been in a car accident which severed her spine, relegating her to a wheel chair for the rest of my life. At the time, I didn't really think about this revelation. As she wheeled down the hall to her room, I heard the hand wheels squeeking and I wondered why she did not have a motorized chair. I must admit that her phone voice isn't as friendly and welcoming as she is in person. The name of her business is Mystical Mermaid. Such an appropriate name for a business run by someone who can not use her legs. Her room was welcoming, beautiful and had many exquisite mermaids. As she massaged the knots out of my muscles we talked about a shared passion beading. We talked about the fact that she wants to bead her own urn. We talked about preparing ourselves for death.
I mentioned that I would like my Sister to see her next time she is in town as she experiences chronic neck pain and can not wear necklaces. She asked if Laurie was injured in a car accident and I said yes. She then described her injuries due to her car accident-- a severed spine accompanied by mistakes by doctors. At that point in her life she could have made the choice to use her paralysis as an excuse. She could have taken the many medications to manage pain. Instead she learned a new skill to help her to manage her own pain and now uses that skill in her business. She hasn't stopped there, she is taking classes to learn an ancient Chinese therapy.
I left her office inspired by a woman who chose to live a full life in spite of her handicap. She is a woman who is not bitter or angry. She is very matter of fact about the accident that left her paralyzed. She is inspring and damn good at what she does.
I mentioned that I would like my Sister to see her next time she is in town as she experiences chronic neck pain and can not wear necklaces. She asked if Laurie was injured in a car accident and I said yes. She then described her injuries due to her car accident-- a severed spine accompanied by mistakes by doctors. At that point in her life she could have made the choice to use her paralysis as an excuse. She could have taken the many medications to manage pain. Instead she learned a new skill to help her to manage her own pain and now uses that skill in her business. She hasn't stopped there, she is taking classes to learn an ancient Chinese therapy.
I left her office inspired by a woman who chose to live a full life in spite of her handicap. She is a woman who is not bitter or angry. She is very matter of fact about the accident that left her paralyzed. She is inspring and damn good at what she does.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Intentions
I believe that your personal intentions, actions and beliefs are reflections that you use to judge other people in your life. Here are examples:
1. If your significant is insanely jealous, it's because they are cheating on you. Thus, the know they are doing it so they totally expect you to do it. This only applies to insanely jealous. We all have moments of insecurity every once in a while, I mean the person that believes everyone you come into contact with is a threat.
2. Liars believe everyone lies.
3. Religiously we think that everyone has the same beliefs or that they should belief what you do. When you look at the basic premise of most religions, they are very similar. Why? Because human decency is easily defined. Also, this may be my own reflection, but I do believe that evil exists thus the need to protect ourselves physically and spiritually from that evil.
This list could go on forever. When I hear of someone, insisting that someone else intentionally hurt them, conspired or had alterior motives, I know that that person had those intentions, thus they are projecting those on others due to the reflection from their mirror. That's all I have to say about that.
1. If your significant is insanely jealous, it's because they are cheating on you. Thus, the know they are doing it so they totally expect you to do it. This only applies to insanely jealous. We all have moments of insecurity every once in a while, I mean the person that believes everyone you come into contact with is a threat.
2. Liars believe everyone lies.
3. Religiously we think that everyone has the same beliefs or that they should belief what you do. When you look at the basic premise of most religions, they are very similar. Why? Because human decency is easily defined. Also, this may be my own reflection, but I do believe that evil exists thus the need to protect ourselves physically and spiritually from that evil.
This list could go on forever. When I hear of someone, insisting that someone else intentionally hurt them, conspired or had alterior motives, I know that that person had those intentions, thus they are projecting those on others due to the reflection from their mirror. That's all I have to say about that.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Smiling
I will begin this blog with a VERY important disclaimer. I am in an unusually good mood today and I'm not sure why I thought of this but, I really hate it when someone says, "Smile." When they tell you to smile if I'm in a bad mood, I really feel like saying, "Listen A-hole, I'm not in a good mood and don't feel like smiling." Sometimes I'm not smiling because I'm thinking about something but you just really annoyed me by telling me to smile so now I'm in a bad mood.
I think that fake smiles are annoying. You can tell when someone's smile is genuine and I prefer a true smile over the fake ones. I know that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile and if that's the case why do we naturally seem to go into a frown?
I smile when I'm happy. I smile when something amuses me. I smile when I'm with the people I love. Don't ask me to smile unless there is a reason to smile. And that's all I have to say about that.
I think that fake smiles are annoying. You can tell when someone's smile is genuine and I prefer a true smile over the fake ones. I know that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile and if that's the case why do we naturally seem to go into a frown?
I smile when I'm happy. I smile when something amuses me. I smile when I'm with the people I love. Don't ask me to smile unless there is a reason to smile. And that's all I have to say about that.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Little girls with curly hair and sparkly eyes
The Geiser clan, minus Jerry and girls and Dad, travelled to Murfreesboro, TN this past weekend to celebrate the graduation of Miss Sarah Valdez. It seems like just yesterday when I paced my living room floor to Whitney Houston songs to put the baby Sarah to sleep. High School graduation is a big deal, for after that big day, the 18 year olds must really decide what they are going to do with the rest of their lives. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I know that feeling and although it was many years ago, it feels like yesterday. I know those feelings combined with the feelings of fear and hope that our babies will make the right choices. That the bumps in the road will help them to grow into better people rather than becoming a road block in life. That the lessons we have learned in our lives will help our children to avoid some of our disappointments and mistakes.
I'm sure that Miss Sarah has experienced loss, pain, fear of the unknown and lots of self-doubt. She is a beautiful girl, with an amazing heart but more importantly she has an older sister that truely loves her and looks out for her. She has a baby brother who adores her and hangs out with her boyfriend. I mean she was sick and couldn't go on their movie date so Zach went with Derrick since Sarah couldn't go. That's brotherly love right there. She has an amazing Mother and Father who support her and who have given her a strong foundation for success. I know that in a few months, she will venture out into the world as a college student, living on her own for the first time. It's an amazing time and she will make new friends and have many wonderful experiences.
Sarah, you and all of my "cousins" hold a special place in my heart. You were the cutest little girl with beautiful curly hair, sparkly eyes and a sassy attitude that no one could suppress. You have so much to look forward to in life. Don't limit yourself, don't let the inevitable self-doubt and fear hold you back and don't ever doubt that you have the ability to get everything you want in life. Listen to your heart and when in doubt call your Mom, your sister, your cousins or me. Talk through those moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. When you are so frustrated, you could cry--don't go through it alone my dear. We have seen you grow from a spunky little girl to a beautful woman, the rest is up to you, but we are always here to hold your hand and to carry you when you get tired. That's what family is all about. I love you and congratulations.
I'm sure that Miss Sarah has experienced loss, pain, fear of the unknown and lots of self-doubt. She is a beautiful girl, with an amazing heart but more importantly she has an older sister that truely loves her and looks out for her. She has a baby brother who adores her and hangs out with her boyfriend. I mean she was sick and couldn't go on their movie date so Zach went with Derrick since Sarah couldn't go. That's brotherly love right there. She has an amazing Mother and Father who support her and who have given her a strong foundation for success. I know that in a few months, she will venture out into the world as a college student, living on her own for the first time. It's an amazing time and she will make new friends and have many wonderful experiences.
Sarah, you and all of my "cousins" hold a special place in my heart. You were the cutest little girl with beautiful curly hair, sparkly eyes and a sassy attitude that no one could suppress. You have so much to look forward to in life. Don't limit yourself, don't let the inevitable self-doubt and fear hold you back and don't ever doubt that you have the ability to get everything you want in life. Listen to your heart and when in doubt call your Mom, your sister, your cousins or me. Talk through those moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. When you are so frustrated, you could cry--don't go through it alone my dear. We have seen you grow from a spunky little girl to a beautful woman, the rest is up to you, but we are always here to hold your hand and to carry you when you get tired. That's what family is all about. I love you and congratulations.
Friday, April 29, 2011
To Be a Princess
Once again we are enamoured by the fairy tale. The handsome prince marries the beautiful commoner and she becomes a princess with a worry-free life, ladies in waiting and servants to serve. To see Prince William marry the women he loves and who loves him in return is magical. His Father, I believe, was fulfilling his duty but did not love his mother and it ultimately ended in tragedy. I wonder what the future holds for the new Princess.
Being a Princess is not easy in today's society. Information is passed along at lightening speeds and we are obsessed with these icons--these people we do not know. It's hard not to get caught up in all of the pomp and circumstance when that's all we see or hear for weeks leading up to the event. I'm sure the interest in her and thier lives will not end. She will be haunted by our need to know, just like Princess Diana was haunted by this insatiable obsession with these women.
I'm sure it was much easier to be a princess 50 years ago and much easier prior to that. You could make sure a secret was kept. You could hide out from the throngs if you really wanted. You could actually have moments of privacy. Now a days with technology and tell-all books it is difficult to have any privacy. That would be a very hard life to lead. I do believe that she loves him. He was born into the craziness so she chose to accept the title knowing that the title leads to a life that will be hard to live at times. Both seem very gracious, waving to the crowd while entering the church and kissing "twice". Maybe this ability to give them a glimpse will reduce the need to invade but I doubt it--it's very ridiculous at times.
The rest of us can pretend to be a princess or a queen without the annoying invasion. The rest of us will find our own prince charming without the ugly stepmother. (Gasp--did I say that? Well, it's true.) The rest of us will sleep on a bed that doesn't have a pea to disturb us. The rest of us WILL live happily ever after.
Being a Princess is not easy in today's society. Information is passed along at lightening speeds and we are obsessed with these icons--these people we do not know. It's hard not to get caught up in all of the pomp and circumstance when that's all we see or hear for weeks leading up to the event. I'm sure the interest in her and thier lives will not end. She will be haunted by our need to know, just like Princess Diana was haunted by this insatiable obsession with these women.
I'm sure it was much easier to be a princess 50 years ago and much easier prior to that. You could make sure a secret was kept. You could hide out from the throngs if you really wanted. You could actually have moments of privacy. Now a days with technology and tell-all books it is difficult to have any privacy. That would be a very hard life to lead. I do believe that she loves him. He was born into the craziness so she chose to accept the title knowing that the title leads to a life that will be hard to live at times. Both seem very gracious, waving to the crowd while entering the church and kissing "twice". Maybe this ability to give them a glimpse will reduce the need to invade but I doubt it--it's very ridiculous at times.
The rest of us can pretend to be a princess or a queen without the annoying invasion. The rest of us will find our own prince charming without the ugly stepmother. (Gasp--did I say that? Well, it's true.) The rest of us will sleep on a bed that doesn't have a pea to disturb us. The rest of us WILL live happily ever after.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Ramblings
I have been thinking about a lot of different things today and I'm not sure if I can tie all of them together so this post is a little of everything. There were two stories in the news this week--one concerned an eight year old boy who was pepper sprayed by the police because he was threatening to kill his teachers. I am flabbergasted--he's eight! I believe he was throwing things in the class room and he might have had a stick in his hands but surely there were other ways to subdue the little boy. I watched the boy and his mother on the Today show and apparently, he has anger issues and because of this he is in a special school. He has had lots of tests and goes to counseling once a week but they can not pin point a reason why the boy reacts this way. The boy wasn't sure what triggered his anger. It made me think that we need to teach our children how to deal with anger. Then I realized, many people have trouble dealing with anger. Sometimes I get mad about something but it wasn't that one thing that made me angry it was usually several things and that one thing sent me over the edge. I cry when I'm mad which makes me mad at myself but I've never been able to change that reaction. I used to say VERY mean things when I was mad--they were things that I didn't really mean but I did know how to hurt someone who obviously had just hurt me. Dealing with anger--that's a tough one.
I also watched a story about a young man in Rio, I think, who walked into an elementary school and started shooting. He shot some of the children at point blank. I can't recall how many children he hurt and killed and he also killed himself. They described him as someone who didn't have many friends--a loner--an outsider. This man, instead of outwardly displaying his anger, kept it inside for many years. Then for some reason, we will never truely know why, he decided to kill innocent children before killing himself. I don't understand that--so sad. His anger obviously made him go crazy. Why else would you commit such a heinous act? Is it better to hold your anger in like this man did or is it better to show anger like the eight year old boy? Clearly, those methods did not work for them and I'm not sure what the answer is on that one.
I've thought that many, many times--how could someone do that? Locally there was a story in the news about a girl and her mother who tried to drown the girls 20 month old son in the toilet. How can people be so callous? That is truely so unbelieveable to me. It also makes me angry that anyone would hurt a child. They are so innocent and sweet and they do not deserve to be hurt or ignored--it's heartbreaking. That makes me mad.
What happened to Ted Williams?
Why are people obsessed with the Kardashians?
Why can't people park in between the lines in a parking lot? Do those same people color in the lines?
That's all for right now--have a great weekend!
I also watched a story about a young man in Rio, I think, who walked into an elementary school and started shooting. He shot some of the children at point blank. I can't recall how many children he hurt and killed and he also killed himself. They described him as someone who didn't have many friends--a loner--an outsider. This man, instead of outwardly displaying his anger, kept it inside for many years. Then for some reason, we will never truely know why, he decided to kill innocent children before killing himself. I don't understand that--so sad. His anger obviously made him go crazy. Why else would you commit such a heinous act? Is it better to hold your anger in like this man did or is it better to show anger like the eight year old boy? Clearly, those methods did not work for them and I'm not sure what the answer is on that one.
I've thought that many, many times--how could someone do that? Locally there was a story in the news about a girl and her mother who tried to drown the girls 20 month old son in the toilet. How can people be so callous? That is truely so unbelieveable to me. It also makes me angry that anyone would hurt a child. They are so innocent and sweet and they do not deserve to be hurt or ignored--it's heartbreaking. That makes me mad.
What happened to Ted Williams?
Why are people obsessed with the Kardashians?
Why can't people park in between the lines in a parking lot? Do those same people color in the lines?
That's all for right now--have a great weekend!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Good People
I am heartbroken today. Three of our co-workers have resigned and are literally moving on to bigger and better things. I am heartbroken because they will be very difficult to replace. When the so called recession started I heard many people in charge say, "They should be happy to have a job." My reply is that good people don't have to worry--they will find a job because good people are hard to find. What qualities make them "good people" you ask? Well time for my bullet points:
1. They work hard. By working hard, I don't mean 45 hours a week. I'm sure that the people that are moving up in their career have put in 80-90 hours a week. Not because it was a mandate from their manager or to win a contest. They put in crazy hours because they are passionate about what they they are doing. I am in radio and the people that are leaving are on the on-air side and I am in sales. I see so many entry level sales people that come in to the radio station at 8a and leave exactly at 5pm then wonder why they can't accomplish the things that the veterans do. When I first started in sales I worked many 70 hour weeks and I made very little money but I never gave up. I worked hard to beat the top biller or to win the contest and to prove that I could do this. People seriously come in to this business expecting to be bestowed. All good things in life are earned--trust, respect, love, success. Conversely, it's very easy for an on-air personality to come in do their shift and leave but they tend not to survive in "this economy".
2. They have passion and love what they do. Let's face it, everyone can't find their dream job but if you take a job only for the money, you will have difficulty being successful. When you love what you do you barely notice when you work insane hours. You look forward to going back in and you feel a general sense of pride when your group succeeds.
3. They are the people that you would trust in any situation. When it comes to my clients, I am very protective and territorial but I know that if I had to ask them to take care of something for me, it would be done and my clients would rave about my co-workers.
4. They make working with them fun and enjoyable.
I am sure that there are more bullet points but I must say that I've never worked with a better group of people than the ones I work with now. Everyone performs to the best of their abilities and most will do whatever it takes to win and honestly who can ask for more than that?
I know that there are good people looking for opportunities and it's frustrating however, I am astounded at what people say in interviews, what they wear and the lack of follow through. There are good opportunities out there if you are willing to be molded, to work hard to bring some passion to your daily duties. Many years ago I worked for Larry Wilson and he always said that the people made his company great. I'm sure the people who run companies don't read my blog, but if you have good people who work hard, who are willing to do whatever it takes and who contribute to your success--hold on tight they are rare gems and are harder to find than you might think. I remember thinking that we had the next sales superstar wto ended up being a falling star. They had a few big closes in the beginning but quickly fizzled out.
My friends who are departing Citadel Colorado Springs-I will miss you and congratulations!
1. They work hard. By working hard, I don't mean 45 hours a week. I'm sure that the people that are moving up in their career have put in 80-90 hours a week. Not because it was a mandate from their manager or to win a contest. They put in crazy hours because they are passionate about what they they are doing. I am in radio and the people that are leaving are on the on-air side and I am in sales. I see so many entry level sales people that come in to the radio station at 8a and leave exactly at 5pm then wonder why they can't accomplish the things that the veterans do. When I first started in sales I worked many 70 hour weeks and I made very little money but I never gave up. I worked hard to beat the top biller or to win the contest and to prove that I could do this. People seriously come in to this business expecting to be bestowed. All good things in life are earned--trust, respect, love, success. Conversely, it's very easy for an on-air personality to come in do their shift and leave but they tend not to survive in "this economy".
2. They have passion and love what they do. Let's face it, everyone can't find their dream job but if you take a job only for the money, you will have difficulty being successful. When you love what you do you barely notice when you work insane hours. You look forward to going back in and you feel a general sense of pride when your group succeeds.
3. They are the people that you would trust in any situation. When it comes to my clients, I am very protective and territorial but I know that if I had to ask them to take care of something for me, it would be done and my clients would rave about my co-workers.
4. They make working with them fun and enjoyable.
I am sure that there are more bullet points but I must say that I've never worked with a better group of people than the ones I work with now. Everyone performs to the best of their abilities and most will do whatever it takes to win and honestly who can ask for more than that?
I know that there are good people looking for opportunities and it's frustrating however, I am astounded at what people say in interviews, what they wear and the lack of follow through. There are good opportunities out there if you are willing to be molded, to work hard to bring some passion to your daily duties. Many years ago I worked for Larry Wilson and he always said that the people made his company great. I'm sure the people who run companies don't read my blog, but if you have good people who work hard, who are willing to do whatever it takes and who contribute to your success--hold on tight they are rare gems and are harder to find than you might think. I remember thinking that we had the next sales superstar wto ended up being a falling star. They had a few big closes in the beginning but quickly fizzled out.
My friends who are departing Citadel Colorado Springs-I will miss you and congratulations!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Fear
I became a wife and a mother in the same year and very late in my life. People who knew me before that momentus year commented that I had changed a lot. I don't know which event changed me the most. I've always had fear and trepidation about permanent commitment. For some reason, it created a great amount of anxiety for me. While I was content in monogomous relationships, I never believed in the fairy tale of happily ever after and I definitely did not believe that being married was the answer to eternal happiness for women. It's true that these two events have changed me more than any other event in my life.
Darrell is not the man I would have picked in my 20's and probably not in my 30's. At those times in my life I was focused on too many other things to recognize the importance of a sense of humor and the power of unconditional love. I had philosophized to myself and others concerning the concept of unconditional love but it's something that I could not give and definitely hadn't received. I'm not a quitter when it comes to business, climbing the ladder and most things that take a lot of work but I would run from relationships when they became difficult or if my emotions scared me too much. Thank God I didn't do this with Darrell. He is a great father, a wonderful friend and I have learned the value of sticking it out until I could recognize his unconditional love for me.
Honestly, becoming a mother has changed me the most. I remember when I was pregnant, marvelling at the fact that another human being was growing inside of me. I wondered what he would look like, what his personality would be and if he would be smart or not. I did not know how much I would love him. I did not know that being a mother would bring so many emotions--sadness, anger, joy, insecurity. I am a person that does not like to talk about emotions and I definitely do not like to deal with them. Now I must do these things so I can teach him how to deal with emotions--to become a confident man. A man who recognizes his emotions and knows how to deal with them in a healthy manner. This, I believe, will be my most difficult task.
I watch him while he is sleeping and I marvel at his perfect features. I want him to be happy and successful. I'm scared--what if I fail him?
Darrell is not the man I would have picked in my 20's and probably not in my 30's. At those times in my life I was focused on too many other things to recognize the importance of a sense of humor and the power of unconditional love. I had philosophized to myself and others concerning the concept of unconditional love but it's something that I could not give and definitely hadn't received. I'm not a quitter when it comes to business, climbing the ladder and most things that take a lot of work but I would run from relationships when they became difficult or if my emotions scared me too much. Thank God I didn't do this with Darrell. He is a great father, a wonderful friend and I have learned the value of sticking it out until I could recognize his unconditional love for me.
Honestly, becoming a mother has changed me the most. I remember when I was pregnant, marvelling at the fact that another human being was growing inside of me. I wondered what he would look like, what his personality would be and if he would be smart or not. I did not know how much I would love him. I did not know that being a mother would bring so many emotions--sadness, anger, joy, insecurity. I am a person that does not like to talk about emotions and I definitely do not like to deal with them. Now I must do these things so I can teach him how to deal with emotions--to become a confident man. A man who recognizes his emotions and knows how to deal with them in a healthy manner. This, I believe, will be my most difficult task.
I watch him while he is sleeping and I marvel at his perfect features. I want him to be happy and successful. I'm scared--what if I fail him?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
A lesson in losing
My son, Blake, competed in the Boy Scouts Pinewood Derby today. I was a little worried when the day began --he started crying when we were told that we had to hot glue his skeleton man to the car. While Papa glued the skeleton and the weights to the car, I took the crying boy outside. I explained to him that the skeleton had to be glued on because it could fall off while racing and mess up someone's else's car and that's not fair. Those are the rules...you can't change them...please stop crying.
The race was very professional and organized--very impressive. His den race began and in the first heat, his buddy Nic won. Next heat is Blake's car and we were very excited--anticipating a win--his car came in dead last. Heat after heat, Blake's car always last yet Blake cheered the loudest for his den and his friends.
A couple of hours later it's time for the awards and once again I was very hopeful that he would win a ribbon for most creative. His car looked VERY cool and I would post a picture but Papa has it. He did not win a ribbon. I watched him sitting, watching his friends with their cool trophies and ribbons and my heart broke. I must say that it bugs me that the Y does not keep score but I kind of wished that every little boy would have recieved a cool car trophy. He did not cry and he did not whine. He simply said, "I wish I won a trophy." Papa said, "I checked out the winning cars very closely, next year we will do better". As we were leaving, I heard a little boy say, "I hate Boy Scouts, I didn't win a trophy." Before I had my son I probably would have grimaced at his Mother. Now that I am a mother, I knew that you never really know how your child will react when faced with losing.
Tonight before bed, I kissed him on top of his head and I told him, "I am very proud of you. You did not cry when you did not win today and you cheered for your friends. Good job." I didn't tell him that I wanted to cry for these are lessons you have to learn in life no matter how much it hurts me.
The race was very professional and organized--very impressive. His den race began and in the first heat, his buddy Nic won. Next heat is Blake's car and we were very excited--anticipating a win--his car came in dead last. Heat after heat, Blake's car always last yet Blake cheered the loudest for his den and his friends.
A couple of hours later it's time for the awards and once again I was very hopeful that he would win a ribbon for most creative. His car looked VERY cool and I would post a picture but Papa has it. He did not win a ribbon. I watched him sitting, watching his friends with their cool trophies and ribbons and my heart broke. I must say that it bugs me that the Y does not keep score but I kind of wished that every little boy would have recieved a cool car trophy. He did not cry and he did not whine. He simply said, "I wish I won a trophy." Papa said, "I checked out the winning cars very closely, next year we will do better". As we were leaving, I heard a little boy say, "I hate Boy Scouts, I didn't win a trophy." Before I had my son I probably would have grimaced at his Mother. Now that I am a mother, I knew that you never really know how your child will react when faced with losing.
Tonight before bed, I kissed him on top of his head and I told him, "I am very proud of you. You did not cry when you did not win today and you cheered for your friends. Good job." I didn't tell him that I wanted to cry for these are lessons you have to learn in life no matter how much it hurts me.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Happiness
How many times have you said, "I just want to be happy."? Or "I'm not happy"? Have you ever looked at other people and wished you were as happy as they are? I was talking to someone I love VERY much last night and she said, "I just want to be happy." This blog is for her although I believe that she listens to my words right now but she can't hear them. Here are my happy bullet points:
1. Happiness is not a constant state. We don't all of a sudden discover something that makes us happy and then we stay happy for ever and ever amen. For every positive in life, there is a negative thus the thing that we thought would make us happy will some day make you sad as well.
2. Another person can not make you happy.
3. You can't buy happiness--believe me, I've tried. (LOL) If you don't believe me watch any of the "Real Housewives" shows. They have LOTS of money and they still go through divorces, fight with each other and have drinking problems. Look at celebrities or children of celebrities-- some of them are a mess. My Grandma Geiser always says, "We didn't have much but we had enough", with that attitude, rich or poorish, you can still be happy.
4. Find the things that help you to create moments of happiness. I can always count on a song, my son, my dog or a hug from my husband to make me happy. I remember times when I was sad about an ended relationship, listening to the same heartbreaking song over and over and over again. Why did I do that? I was just making myself miserable.
5. Live in the moment. When you are experiencing a happy moment, stop, recognize it and hold on to it for as long as you can as each moment in time is unique--it can not be re-created again. Some of my happiest times were at Grandma Rita and Grandma Tina's house on the hill. We drank coffee and hung out in the kitchen laughing and talking and I felt safe and happy. Grandma Rita and Grandma Tina died and all of us live in different parts of the world. I really miss those times. We have had other moments like that when we all get together and a semblance of those magical moments were recreated but they will never be the same.
6. Do not compare yourself to others in your pursuit of happiness. If you believe that you will be happy by getting or achieving what someone else has you will live a life filled with frustration and self-doubt. There will always be someone who has more than you and there will always be someone that has less than you whether you are comparing money, fat, or anything that exists that can be compared in some manner. Set personal bars and standards then start your journey. There will be successes along the way and their will be failures. Don't give up and don't be too hard on yourself--maybe through that journey you will experience many moments of happiness.
7. Pray. Prayer gives you peace of mind and happiness. As you thank God for everything he has given you, list those things and you will realize that you have a lot to be happy about.
8. Laugh out loud every day.
9. Cry every once in a while. I'm not sure who said this and it's not an exact quote but you must experience sadness to experience joy. Plus, I believe if you are holding sadness inside you, it encompasses your being and you can not experience true joy. Get rid of the sadness. Purge it by talking about it, writing about it, screaming into a pillow with the goal of getting rid of the sadness.
I end my happiness blog with a quote from Groucho Marx, "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
1. Happiness is not a constant state. We don't all of a sudden discover something that makes us happy and then we stay happy for ever and ever amen. For every positive in life, there is a negative thus the thing that we thought would make us happy will some day make you sad as well.
2. Another person can not make you happy.
3. You can't buy happiness--believe me, I've tried. (LOL) If you don't believe me watch any of the "Real Housewives" shows. They have LOTS of money and they still go through divorces, fight with each other and have drinking problems. Look at celebrities or children of celebrities-- some of them are a mess. My Grandma Geiser always says, "We didn't have much but we had enough", with that attitude, rich or poorish, you can still be happy.
4. Find the things that help you to create moments of happiness. I can always count on a song, my son, my dog or a hug from my husband to make me happy. I remember times when I was sad about an ended relationship, listening to the same heartbreaking song over and over and over again. Why did I do that? I was just making myself miserable.
5. Live in the moment. When you are experiencing a happy moment, stop, recognize it and hold on to it for as long as you can as each moment in time is unique--it can not be re-created again. Some of my happiest times were at Grandma Rita and Grandma Tina's house on the hill. We drank coffee and hung out in the kitchen laughing and talking and I felt safe and happy. Grandma Rita and Grandma Tina died and all of us live in different parts of the world. I really miss those times. We have had other moments like that when we all get together and a semblance of those magical moments were recreated but they will never be the same.
6. Do not compare yourself to others in your pursuit of happiness. If you believe that you will be happy by getting or achieving what someone else has you will live a life filled with frustration and self-doubt. There will always be someone who has more than you and there will always be someone that has less than you whether you are comparing money, fat, or anything that exists that can be compared in some manner. Set personal bars and standards then start your journey. There will be successes along the way and their will be failures. Don't give up and don't be too hard on yourself--maybe through that journey you will experience many moments of happiness.
7. Pray. Prayer gives you peace of mind and happiness. As you thank God for everything he has given you, list those things and you will realize that you have a lot to be happy about.
8. Laugh out loud every day.
9. Cry every once in a while. I'm not sure who said this and it's not an exact quote but you must experience sadness to experience joy. Plus, I believe if you are holding sadness inside you, it encompasses your being and you can not experience true joy. Get rid of the sadness. Purge it by talking about it, writing about it, screaming into a pillow with the goal of getting rid of the sadness.
I end my happiness blog with a quote from Groucho Marx, "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
Monday, February 7, 2011
What will you be like when you are ahem--older?
I was driving down Platte today and there was a white Nissan in the left lane with it's emergency blinkers on then the truck in front of me stopped all of sudden. On most days, I would have impatiently honked in seconds but for some reason today, I waited to see what was going on and I am so glad that I did. There was a little old lady on her red scooter with her faux fur hat and coat on cruising down the street. I did not hear the conversation but based on watching the situation I gather that the guy in the Nissan was related to her in some way and the gentlemen on the right side of the road was trying to help her. She maneuvered her scooter over to the right side of the road and traffic was still moving slowly when a police car coming in the opposite direction turned on its lights and siren to turn around and help with the situation. I felt horrible for the little lady as she was determined to get somewhere and didn't seem too flustered by all of the commotion. I was telling Darrell the story and said that she probably got pissed off at someone and said, "Screw you! If you won't take me, I'll go on my own, on my little red scooter." Darrell's response, "Something to look forward to."
I'm happy to say that he's probably right. I come from a long line of feisty women on my Mother and Father's side and I'm proud to say that the feistiness doesn't skip a generation. We have so many fun stories involving my Grandmothers, Aunts, Mom and my sister that I probably could write a book and I just might someday. Let me tell you when Grandma Tina got mad at us for eating one too many tortillas before dinner was ready, the swear words in Spanish would start as she chased us out of the house and we all ran laughing. I still have images of Aunt Virg biting on her tongue as she got ready to swat one of us for something or of Grandma Rita, getting mad at Uncle George for coming home too late. There are many classic dating stories of Marie and Jerry Geiser and then the married stories of Mom driving through garage doors and dropping all of us off at the bar because she wasn't happy with Dad's shenanigans. I can still see the glint in their eyes when we sent them over the edge and I still see it in ourselves.
When I'm older and my hips give out and I can't walk anymore, I will have a little red scooter and if I feel like going somewhere and can't find someone to take me--I'll just take off down Academy slowing down traffic for all around me. Screw the red dresses and purple hats--I want a red scooter with a faux fur hat and a matching coat with my ho-de-da red lipstick.
I'm happy to say that he's probably right. I come from a long line of feisty women on my Mother and Father's side and I'm proud to say that the feistiness doesn't skip a generation. We have so many fun stories involving my Grandmothers, Aunts, Mom and my sister that I probably could write a book and I just might someday. Let me tell you when Grandma Tina got mad at us for eating one too many tortillas before dinner was ready, the swear words in Spanish would start as she chased us out of the house and we all ran laughing. I still have images of Aunt Virg biting on her tongue as she got ready to swat one of us for something or of Grandma Rita, getting mad at Uncle George for coming home too late. There are many classic dating stories of Marie and Jerry Geiser and then the married stories of Mom driving through garage doors and dropping all of us off at the bar because she wasn't happy with Dad's shenanigans. I can still see the glint in their eyes when we sent them over the edge and I still see it in ourselves.
When I'm older and my hips give out and I can't walk anymore, I will have a little red scooter and if I feel like going somewhere and can't find someone to take me--I'll just take off down Academy slowing down traffic for all around me. Screw the red dresses and purple hats--I want a red scooter with a faux fur hat and a matching coat with my ho-de-da red lipstick.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tiger Mom
Apparently, there is a mother who wrote a book and called herself Tiger Mom because she did not let her children have playdates, watch TV or do anything besides study and practice their music. She also, get ready for the big gasp, did not praise every home made card and creation by her children. The "public" is appalled and outraged! They have been sending searing emails and leaving death threat voice mails. I'm not the toughest Mother--in fact, I'm quite the softy when it comes to my son, nieces and nephews. I like to indulge the little ones so I'm not one to say anyone is too strict but I've said it before and I will say it again--we are raising children to be excuse-making, whiny baby, losers because we have absolutely no expectations, guidelines or standards. Everything can be explained away because they have something that makes it impossible for them to be a functioning member of society. If everything comes too easy to them as children, they do not learn coping skills and that's why they end up living with their parents on a permanent rather than semi-permanent basis.
Personally, my Dad was VERY strict. He made me so crazy when I was a teenager but in retrospect, I'm thankful for his strictness, it kept me out of trouble. I could have had better preparation for the outside world but I've lived this long despite myself. I remember dreading the times when Grandma Geiser watched us for a few days at a time. She actually made us eat breakfast before we went to school! Mom got tired of fighting with us about breakfast and gave up making us fend for ourselves.
My brother-in-law Dave is VERY strict. The kids listen and respond when he is in charge and his son says that his Dad is his BEST friend. That makes me smile. I am always a favorite of all the kids too because we break some rules and have fun together. They need to learn to adjust to different scenarios in life and we need to stop coddling and making excuses all the time--it's ridiculous already. Tiger Mom raised her children in a manner that she believed would create independent, successful adults. She didn't starve them and she didn't beat them so shut up about it already. I can't remember being sent to bed without supper but I do remember having to sit at the dinner table until it was bed time because I wouldn't eat the meal my Mom had prepared that night. So, my Dad learned that I would stubbornly starve and sit there all night and I learned that he would make me. It didn't hurt me in the long run and it didn't scar me psychologically although I can probably create some story in my own head if I wanted to make excuses about failures in my life. Tiger Mom put her children FIRST in her life and that's the best thing we can do for our kids. Our children have everything in the world sometimes but they love it most when we sit down and watch a movie together. When we hang out in our jammies for most of the day and when we high five them when they achieve something that truely took some effort. Leave Tiger Mom alone--her children, her DNA are her responsiblity and depriving children of fake praise and TV is not abuse.
Personally, my Dad was VERY strict. He made me so crazy when I was a teenager but in retrospect, I'm thankful for his strictness, it kept me out of trouble. I could have had better preparation for the outside world but I've lived this long despite myself. I remember dreading the times when Grandma Geiser watched us for a few days at a time. She actually made us eat breakfast before we went to school! Mom got tired of fighting with us about breakfast and gave up making us fend for ourselves.
My brother-in-law Dave is VERY strict. The kids listen and respond when he is in charge and his son says that his Dad is his BEST friend. That makes me smile. I am always a favorite of all the kids too because we break some rules and have fun together. They need to learn to adjust to different scenarios in life and we need to stop coddling and making excuses all the time--it's ridiculous already. Tiger Mom raised her children in a manner that she believed would create independent, successful adults. She didn't starve them and she didn't beat them so shut up about it already. I can't remember being sent to bed without supper but I do remember having to sit at the dinner table until it was bed time because I wouldn't eat the meal my Mom had prepared that night. So, my Dad learned that I would stubbornly starve and sit there all night and I learned that he would make me. It didn't hurt me in the long run and it didn't scar me psychologically although I can probably create some story in my own head if I wanted to make excuses about failures in my life. Tiger Mom put her children FIRST in her life and that's the best thing we can do for our kids. Our children have everything in the world sometimes but they love it most when we sit down and watch a movie together. When we hang out in our jammies for most of the day and when we high five them when they achieve something that truely took some effort. Leave Tiger Mom alone--her children, her DNA are her responsiblity and depriving children of fake praise and TV is not abuse.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
ENOUGH Already
OK so there are so many things that are great the first time. Pretty cool the second time but after the 100th time, I'm over it. As my brother would say--it becomes over-rated. Here are my list of items that have become over-rated due to over-use:
1. 3-D movies--another ploy by the movie companies to make more money when the real answer is to control expenses. Actors and Acrtresses are over-paid anyway.
2. The Ted Williams story.
3. The OJ conspiracy
4. ANY conspiracy theory.
5. Nancy Pelosi
6. Rush Limbaugh
7. Hooka
8. Kate minus Jon but still with 8--who cares about her anyway?
9. Snookie Hair
10. American Idol's way of drawing out a show.
11. Sarah Palin OR anyone named Palin.
12. People complaining about airport security--would you rather be in the plane with a planted bomb or would you rather be safe?
13. Colorado Springs citiizens refusal to vote for any TYPE of tax to improve our community. I am envious of Pueblo--they actually want to improve thier community--go Pueblo.
14. People who say literally, they literally get on my nerves.
15. Radio DJ's who think it's cute to put their kids on the radio--it's just annoying.
16. People who ignore their children in public.
17. People who are on power trips.
18. People who are paranoid.
19. People who complain.
Well, this started out because I'm tired of 3-D movies already but ended up as a list of things that annoy me. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to get these off my sizeable chest.
1. 3-D movies--another ploy by the movie companies to make more money when the real answer is to control expenses. Actors and Acrtresses are over-paid anyway.
2. The Ted Williams story.
3. The OJ conspiracy
4. ANY conspiracy theory.
5. Nancy Pelosi
6. Rush Limbaugh
7. Hooka
8. Kate minus Jon but still with 8--who cares about her anyway?
9. Snookie Hair
10. American Idol's way of drawing out a show.
11. Sarah Palin OR anyone named Palin.
12. People complaining about airport security--would you rather be in the plane with a planted bomb or would you rather be safe?
13. Colorado Springs citiizens refusal to vote for any TYPE of tax to improve our community. I am envious of Pueblo--they actually want to improve thier community--go Pueblo.
14. People who say literally, they literally get on my nerves.
15. Radio DJ's who think it's cute to put their kids on the radio--it's just annoying.
16. People who ignore their children in public.
17. People who are on power trips.
18. People who are paranoid.
19. People who complain.
Well, this started out because I'm tired of 3-D movies already but ended up as a list of things that annoy me. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to get these off my sizeable chest.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Ted Williams' Mother
The theme for this week surrounds mistakes in our past that utlimately end up in a negative in our lives. This week the world was introduced to Ted Williams, a man with an incredible voice, who ended up homeless due to drug and alcohol addictions. He was reunited with his Mother yesterday and they appeared on The Today show together this morning. Williams' Mother is elderly and I am sure she endured emotional, financial stress and devastation due to her son's addiction. One of her responses to her son was, "Don't let me down this time." She also expressed embarrassment that her son was standing on the street with his sign and it was broadcast to the whole world. They talked about him telling her that he was going to be someone because of his voice and her response was, "I've heard that before." Honestly, I think Meredith Viera did not know how to respond. She was expecting an encouraging Mother who was just happy to see her son alive. I could tell that this man's new found happiness was dampened a little by the reality of his Mother's doubt and trepidation. I wonder if she saw that.
Unfortunately, I can understand where her cynicism comes from and the problem with media, gossip websites and most media phenomenons is we only see snapshots of their lives. We haven't seen the years of humiliation, devastation and emotional pain she endured due to her son's addiction. At some point you have to develop some sort of shell to survive dealing with the disappointment and the pain of seeing a loved one suffer. I understand her embarrassment even though the video has ultimately created incredible opportunities for this man.
Fortunately, I haven't had to directly deal with an addiction of that magnitude. I watch Dr. Phil (ha ha), I read about it and I know people that have been through this and at some point you have to let them hit rock bottom so they can recover. I feel for his Mother and anyone that is exposed to the national spot light to that extent. She isn't trying to be politically correct and she doesn't have to answer to anyone for her comments. Mrs. Williams came from a generation where you say what you think and where family issues are private issues. Sometimes, I wonder if we coddle and encourage a little too much. Our children need to learn how to deal with downs that life can bring because we can't always be there to rescue them. I could see that Ms. Viera didn't know how to respond because the world is filled with so much politically correct bullshit right now.
I was kind of irriated with Perez Hilton when he felt the need to post Ted William's arrest reccord. HELLO! He was homeless because self-admittadly he had a drug and alcohol problem Why are you trying to squash his opportunity to pull himself out of the hole he dug for himself? That was just mean.
Here is a man who went from being homeless to many incredible opportunites within hours. He is dealing with lots of regret, optimism and emotions and he is doing it in the national spotlight. That can't be good for anyone. I hope that in addition to the opportunities he is also receiving guidance. I'm sure we will see judgement from others on his Mother's reactions to all of this. Don't judge--we don't know where she is coming from and I could see that he loves her and he wants her to be proud of him. I would hope that all of us want our parents to be proud of us but most of all we want them to love us. Sometimes, that love can hurt the one that loves you more than the one being loved when you see them being self-destructive. Maybe I have rambled a little too much but the intense media scrutiny becomes too much. Let it go and let him and his family recover in private or I fear his story will not end well.
Unfortunately, I can understand where her cynicism comes from and the problem with media, gossip websites and most media phenomenons is we only see snapshots of their lives. We haven't seen the years of humiliation, devastation and emotional pain she endured due to her son's addiction. At some point you have to develop some sort of shell to survive dealing with the disappointment and the pain of seeing a loved one suffer. I understand her embarrassment even though the video has ultimately created incredible opportunities for this man.
Fortunately, I haven't had to directly deal with an addiction of that magnitude. I watch Dr. Phil (ha ha), I read about it and I know people that have been through this and at some point you have to let them hit rock bottom so they can recover. I feel for his Mother and anyone that is exposed to the national spot light to that extent. She isn't trying to be politically correct and she doesn't have to answer to anyone for her comments. Mrs. Williams came from a generation where you say what you think and where family issues are private issues. Sometimes, I wonder if we coddle and encourage a little too much. Our children need to learn how to deal with downs that life can bring because we can't always be there to rescue them. I could see that Ms. Viera didn't know how to respond because the world is filled with so much politically correct bullshit right now.
I was kind of irriated with Perez Hilton when he felt the need to post Ted William's arrest reccord. HELLO! He was homeless because self-admittadly he had a drug and alcohol problem Why are you trying to squash his opportunity to pull himself out of the hole he dug for himself? That was just mean.
Here is a man who went from being homeless to many incredible opportunites within hours. He is dealing with lots of regret, optimism and emotions and he is doing it in the national spotlight. That can't be good for anyone. I hope that in addition to the opportunities he is also receiving guidance. I'm sure we will see judgement from others on his Mother's reactions to all of this. Don't judge--we don't know where she is coming from and I could see that he loves her and he wants her to be proud of him. I would hope that all of us want our parents to be proud of us but most of all we want them to love us. Sometimes, that love can hurt the one that loves you more than the one being loved when you see them being self-destructive. Maybe I have rambled a little too much but the intense media scrutiny becomes too much. Let it go and let him and his family recover in private or I fear his story will not end well.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Rear View Mirror needed please.
There is a very popular saying and I'm not sure who I should credit, it is "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" and it seems it should be added but keep looking behind you. In today's world we have the ability to video tape from our phones, take pictures, and send information via the web or by email and this information can spread like wild fire. A Navy Captain was recently demoted due to a video he produced and played to help morale for his crew during a long deployment. There are so many sides to consider, that I don't even know where to begin.
Part of me wants to say that the court of public opinion should not judge the military and their unique way of handling things, however, there have been several instances when important issues were not being dealt with by the military until they were made public. The bigger picture in all of this, is should we be held accountable for a bad judgement call 4-5 years after the incident? Let's assume that the Captain was disciplined in some manner at that time. Is it fair to have a very bad judgement call pop back up on television and affect his position now?
Let's assume that all of us evolve into a better person based on mistakes we have made in the past and the lessons we have learned from those mistakes, shouldn't we be able to move on with some confidence that it is behind us? How do we make our children, teenagers and young adults aware that pictures, videos and on-line postings could haunt them for the rest of their life? We either need to develop some tolerance for stupid mistakes or create an extremely paranoid society.
In my opinion, celebrities and politicians have pursued careers that mean constant judgement and being haunted and stalked by the media in one way or another. The rest of us are simple human beings, living our lives, making mistakes along the way without the expectation of being judged due to a random video or picture. I've said this before, it is very easy to judge someone's actions without knowing all of the circumstances, I've done it before, but it isn't always the right judgement. I am very scared and worried about our children--the obsession with videoing, You Tubing, texting,etc can have some very dire consequences today and 5 years down the road. Maybe the Amish are on to something, all of this technology and exposure to eveything can be bad for our mental health ,careers and most importantly, our souls.
Part of me wants to say that the court of public opinion should not judge the military and their unique way of handling things, however, there have been several instances when important issues were not being dealt with by the military until they were made public. The bigger picture in all of this, is should we be held accountable for a bad judgement call 4-5 years after the incident? Let's assume that the Captain was disciplined in some manner at that time. Is it fair to have a very bad judgement call pop back up on television and affect his position now?
Let's assume that all of us evolve into a better person based on mistakes we have made in the past and the lessons we have learned from those mistakes, shouldn't we be able to move on with some confidence that it is behind us? How do we make our children, teenagers and young adults aware that pictures, videos and on-line postings could haunt them for the rest of their life? We either need to develop some tolerance for stupid mistakes or create an extremely paranoid society.
In my opinion, celebrities and politicians have pursued careers that mean constant judgement and being haunted and stalked by the media in one way or another. The rest of us are simple human beings, living our lives, making mistakes along the way without the expectation of being judged due to a random video or picture. I've said this before, it is very easy to judge someone's actions without knowing all of the circumstances, I've done it before, but it isn't always the right judgement. I am very scared and worried about our children--the obsession with videoing, You Tubing, texting,etc can have some very dire consequences today and 5 years down the road. Maybe the Amish are on to something, all of this technology and exposure to eveything can be bad for our mental health ,careers and most importantly, our souls.
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