Tiger Mom

Apparently, there is a mother who wrote a book and called herself Tiger Mom because she did not let her children have playdates, watch TV or do anything besides study and practice their music.  She also, get ready for the big gasp, did not praise every home made card and creation by her children.  The "public" is appalled and outraged!  They have been sending searing emails and leaving death threat voice mails.  I'm not the toughest Mother--in fact, I'm quite the softy when it comes to my son, nieces and nephews.  I like to indulge the little ones so I'm not one to say anyone is too strict but I've said it before and I will say it again--we are raising children to be excuse-making, whiny baby, losers because we have absolutely no expectations, guidelines or standards.  Everything can be explained away because they have something that makes it impossible for them to be a functioning member of society.  If everything comes too easy to them as children, they do not learn coping skills and that's why they end up living with their parents on a permanent rather than semi-permanent basis. 

Personally, my Dad was VERY strict.  He made me so crazy when I was a teenager but in retrospect, I'm thankful for his strictness, it kept me out of trouble.  I could have had better preparation for the outside world but I've lived this long despite myself.  I remember dreading the times when Grandma Geiser watched us for a few days at a time.  She actually made us eat breakfast before we went to school!  Mom got tired of fighting with us about breakfast and gave up making us fend for ourselves.

My brother-in-law Dave is VERY strict.  The kids listen and respond when he is in charge and his son says that his Dad is his BEST friend.  That makes me smile.   I am always a favorite of all the kids too because we break some rules and have fun together.  They need to learn to adjust to different scenarios in life and we need to stop coddling and making excuses all the time--it's ridiculous already.  Tiger Mom raised her children in a manner that she believed would create independent, successful adults.  She didn't starve them and she didn't beat them so shut up about it already.  I can't remember being sent to bed without supper but I do remember having to sit at the dinner table until it was bed time because I wouldn't eat the meal my Mom had prepared that night.  So, my Dad learned that I would stubbornly starve and sit there all night and I learned that he would make me.  It didn't hurt me in the long run and it didn't scar me psychologically although I can probably create some story in my own head if I wanted to make excuses about failures in my life.  Tiger Mom put her children FIRST in her life and that's the best thing we can do for our kids.  Our children have everything in the world sometimes but they love it most when we sit down and watch a movie together.  When we hang out in our jammies for most of the day and when we high five them when they achieve something that truely took some effort.  Leave Tiger Mom alone--her children, her DNA are her responsiblity and depriving children of fake praise and TV is not abuse.