Happiness

How many times have you said, "I just want to be happy."?  Or "I'm not happy"?  Have you ever looked at other people and wished you were as happy as they are?  I was talking to someone I love VERY much last night and she said, "I just want to be happy."  This blog is for her although I believe that she listens to my words right now but she can't hear them.  Here are my happy bullet points:

1.  Happiness is not a constant state.  We don't all of a sudden discover something that makes us happy and then we stay happy for ever and ever amen.  For every positive in life, there is a negative thus the thing that we thought would make us happy will some day make you sad as well. 

2.  Another person can not make you happy. 

3.  You can't buy happiness--believe me, I've tried.  (LOL)  If you don't believe me watch any of the "Real Housewives" shows.  They have LOTS of money and they still go through divorces, fight with each other and have drinking problems.  Look at celebrities or children of celebrities-- some of them are a mess.  My Grandma Geiser always says, "We didn't have much but we had enough", with that attitude, rich or poorish, you can still be happy.

4.  Find the things that help you to create moments of happiness.  I can always count on a song, my son, my dog or a hug from my husband to make me happy.  I remember times when I was sad about an ended relationship, listening to the same heartbreaking song over and over and over again.  Why did I do that?  I was just making myself miserable. 

5.  Live in the moment.  When you are experiencing a happy moment, stop, recognize it and hold on to it for as long as you can as each moment in time is unique--it can not be re-created again.  Some of my happiest times were at Grandma Rita and Grandma Tina's house on the hill.  We drank coffee and hung out in the kitchen laughing and talking and I felt safe and happy.  Grandma Rita and Grandma Tina died and all of us live in different parts of the world. I really miss those times.  We have had other moments like that when we all get together and a semblance of those magical moments were recreated but they will never be the same.

6.  Do not compare yourself to others in your pursuit of happiness.  If you believe that you will be happy by getting or achieving what someone else has you will live a life filled with frustration and self-doubt.  There will always be someone who has more than you and there will always be someone that has less than you whether you are comparing money, fat, or anything that exists that can be compared in some manner.  Set personal bars and standards then start your journey.  There will be successes along the way and their will be failures.  Don't give up and don't be too hard on yourself--maybe through that journey you will experience many moments of happiness.

7.  Pray.  Prayer gives you peace of mind and happiness.  As you thank God for everything he has given you, list those things and you will realize that you have a lot to be happy about.

8.  Laugh out loud every day.

9.  Cry every once in a while.  I'm not sure who said this and it's not an exact quote but you must experience sadness to experience joy.  Plus, I believe if you are holding sadness inside you,  it encompasses your being and you can not experience true joy.  Get rid of the sadness.  Purge it by talking about it, writing about it, screaming into a pillow with the goal of getting rid of the sadness. 

I end my happiness blog with a quote from Groucho Marx, "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.  I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

What will you be like when you are ahem--older?

I was driving down Platte today and there was a white Nissan in the left lane with it's emergency blinkers on then the truck in front of me stopped all of sudden.  On most days, I would have impatiently honked in seconds but for some reason today, I waited to see what was going on and I am so glad that I did.  There was a little old lady on her red scooter with her faux fur hat and coat on cruising down the street.  I did not hear the conversation but based on watching the situation I gather that the guy in the Nissan was related to her in some way and the gentlemen on the right side of the road was trying to help her.  She maneuvered her scooter over to the right side of the road and traffic was still moving slowly when a police car coming in the opposite direction turned on its lights and siren to turn around and help with the situation.  I felt horrible for the little lady as she was determined to get somewhere and didn't seem too flustered by all of the commotion.  I was telling Darrell the story and said that she probably got pissed off at someone and said, "Screw you!  If you won't take me, I'll go on my own, on my little red scooter."  Darrell's response, "Something to look forward to." 

I'm happy to say that he's probably right.  I come from a long line of feisty women on my Mother and Father's side and I'm proud to say that the feistiness doesn't skip a generation.  We have so many fun stories involving my Grandmothers, Aunts, Mom and my sister that I probably could write a book and I just might someday.  Let me tell you when Grandma Tina got mad at us for eating one too many tortillas before dinner was ready, the swear words in Spanish would start as she chased us out of the house and we all ran laughing.  I still have images of Aunt Virg biting on her tongue as she got ready to swat one of us for something or of Grandma Rita, getting mad at Uncle George for coming home too late.  There are many classic dating stories of Marie and Jerry Geiser and then the married stories of Mom driving through garage doors and dropping all of us off at the bar because she wasn't happy with Dad's shenanigans.  I can still see the glint in their eyes when we sent them over the edge and I still see it in ourselves. 

 When I'm older and my hips give out and I can't walk anymore, I will have a little red scooter and if I feel like going somewhere and can't find someone to take me--I'll just take off down Academy slowing down traffic for all around me.  Screw the red dresses and purple hats--I want a red scooter with a faux fur hat and a matching coat with my ho-de-da red lipstick.