Apparently, there is a mother who wrote a book and called herself Tiger Mom because she did not let her children have playdates, watch TV or do anything besides study and practice their music. She also, get ready for the big gasp, did not praise every home made card and creation by her children. The "public" is appalled and outraged! They have been sending searing emails and leaving death threat voice mails. I'm not the toughest Mother--in fact, I'm quite the softy when it comes to my son, nieces and nephews. I like to indulge the little ones so I'm not one to say anyone is too strict but I've said it before and I will say it again--we are raising children to be excuse-making, whiny baby, losers because we have absolutely no expectations, guidelines or standards. Everything can be explained away because they have something that makes it impossible for them to be a functioning member of society. If everything comes too easy to them as children, they do not learn coping skills and that's why they end up living with their parents on a permanent rather than semi-permanent basis.
Personally, my Dad was VERY strict. He made me so crazy when I was a teenager but in retrospect, I'm thankful for his strictness, it kept me out of trouble. I could have had better preparation for the outside world but I've lived this long despite myself. I remember dreading the times when Grandma Geiser watched us for a few days at a time. She actually made us eat breakfast before we went to school! Mom got tired of fighting with us about breakfast and gave up making us fend for ourselves.
My brother-in-law Dave is VERY strict. The kids listen and respond when he is in charge and his son says that his Dad is his BEST friend. That makes me smile. I am always a favorite of all the kids too because we break some rules and have fun together. They need to learn to adjust to different scenarios in life and we need to stop coddling and making excuses all the time--it's ridiculous already. Tiger Mom raised her children in a manner that she believed would create independent, successful adults. She didn't starve them and she didn't beat them so shut up about it already. I can't remember being sent to bed without supper but I do remember having to sit at the dinner table until it was bed time because I wouldn't eat the meal my Mom had prepared that night. So, my Dad learned that I would stubbornly starve and sit there all night and I learned that he would make me. It didn't hurt me in the long run and it didn't scar me psychologically although I can probably create some story in my own head if I wanted to make excuses about failures in my life. Tiger Mom put her children FIRST in her life and that's the best thing we can do for our kids. Our children have everything in the world sometimes but they love it most when we sit down and watch a movie together. When we hang out in our jammies for most of the day and when we high five them when they achieve something that truely took some effort. Leave Tiger Mom alone--her children, her DNA are her responsiblity and depriving children of fake praise and TV is not abuse.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
ENOUGH Already
OK so there are so many things that are great the first time. Pretty cool the second time but after the 100th time, I'm over it. As my brother would say--it becomes over-rated. Here are my list of items that have become over-rated due to over-use:
1. 3-D movies--another ploy by the movie companies to make more money when the real answer is to control expenses. Actors and Acrtresses are over-paid anyway.
2. The Ted Williams story.
3. The OJ conspiracy
4. ANY conspiracy theory.
5. Nancy Pelosi
6. Rush Limbaugh
7. Hooka
8. Kate minus Jon but still with 8--who cares about her anyway?
9. Snookie Hair
10. American Idol's way of drawing out a show.
11. Sarah Palin OR anyone named Palin.
12. People complaining about airport security--would you rather be in the plane with a planted bomb or would you rather be safe?
13. Colorado Springs citiizens refusal to vote for any TYPE of tax to improve our community. I am envious of Pueblo--they actually want to improve thier community--go Pueblo.
14. People who say literally, they literally get on my nerves.
15. Radio DJ's who think it's cute to put their kids on the radio--it's just annoying.
16. People who ignore their children in public.
17. People who are on power trips.
18. People who are paranoid.
19. People who complain.
Well, this started out because I'm tired of 3-D movies already but ended up as a list of things that annoy me. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to get these off my sizeable chest.
1. 3-D movies--another ploy by the movie companies to make more money when the real answer is to control expenses. Actors and Acrtresses are over-paid anyway.
2. The Ted Williams story.
3. The OJ conspiracy
4. ANY conspiracy theory.
5. Nancy Pelosi
6. Rush Limbaugh
7. Hooka
8. Kate minus Jon but still with 8--who cares about her anyway?
9. Snookie Hair
10. American Idol's way of drawing out a show.
11. Sarah Palin OR anyone named Palin.
12. People complaining about airport security--would you rather be in the plane with a planted bomb or would you rather be safe?
13. Colorado Springs citiizens refusal to vote for any TYPE of tax to improve our community. I am envious of Pueblo--they actually want to improve thier community--go Pueblo.
14. People who say literally, they literally get on my nerves.
15. Radio DJ's who think it's cute to put their kids on the radio--it's just annoying.
16. People who ignore their children in public.
17. People who are on power trips.
18. People who are paranoid.
19. People who complain.
Well, this started out because I'm tired of 3-D movies already but ended up as a list of things that annoy me. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to get these off my sizeable chest.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Ted Williams' Mother
The theme for this week surrounds mistakes in our past that utlimately end up in a negative in our lives. This week the world was introduced to Ted Williams, a man with an incredible voice, who ended up homeless due to drug and alcohol addictions. He was reunited with his Mother yesterday and they appeared on The Today show together this morning. Williams' Mother is elderly and I am sure she endured emotional, financial stress and devastation due to her son's addiction. One of her responses to her son was, "Don't let me down this time." She also expressed embarrassment that her son was standing on the street with his sign and it was broadcast to the whole world. They talked about him telling her that he was going to be someone because of his voice and her response was, "I've heard that before." Honestly, I think Meredith Viera did not know how to respond. She was expecting an encouraging Mother who was just happy to see her son alive. I could tell that this man's new found happiness was dampened a little by the reality of his Mother's doubt and trepidation. I wonder if she saw that.
Unfortunately, I can understand where her cynicism comes from and the problem with media, gossip websites and most media phenomenons is we only see snapshots of their lives. We haven't seen the years of humiliation, devastation and emotional pain she endured due to her son's addiction. At some point you have to develop some sort of shell to survive dealing with the disappointment and the pain of seeing a loved one suffer. I understand her embarrassment even though the video has ultimately created incredible opportunities for this man.
Fortunately, I haven't had to directly deal with an addiction of that magnitude. I watch Dr. Phil (ha ha), I read about it and I know people that have been through this and at some point you have to let them hit rock bottom so they can recover. I feel for his Mother and anyone that is exposed to the national spot light to that extent. She isn't trying to be politically correct and she doesn't have to answer to anyone for her comments. Mrs. Williams came from a generation where you say what you think and where family issues are private issues. Sometimes, I wonder if we coddle and encourage a little too much. Our children need to learn how to deal with downs that life can bring because we can't always be there to rescue them. I could see that Ms. Viera didn't know how to respond because the world is filled with so much politically correct bullshit right now.
I was kind of irriated with Perez Hilton when he felt the need to post Ted William's arrest reccord. HELLO! He was homeless because self-admittadly he had a drug and alcohol problem Why are you trying to squash his opportunity to pull himself out of the hole he dug for himself? That was just mean.
Here is a man who went from being homeless to many incredible opportunites within hours. He is dealing with lots of regret, optimism and emotions and he is doing it in the national spotlight. That can't be good for anyone. I hope that in addition to the opportunities he is also receiving guidance. I'm sure we will see judgement from others on his Mother's reactions to all of this. Don't judge--we don't know where she is coming from and I could see that he loves her and he wants her to be proud of him. I would hope that all of us want our parents to be proud of us but most of all we want them to love us. Sometimes, that love can hurt the one that loves you more than the one being loved when you see them being self-destructive. Maybe I have rambled a little too much but the intense media scrutiny becomes too much. Let it go and let him and his family recover in private or I fear his story will not end well.
Unfortunately, I can understand where her cynicism comes from and the problem with media, gossip websites and most media phenomenons is we only see snapshots of their lives. We haven't seen the years of humiliation, devastation and emotional pain she endured due to her son's addiction. At some point you have to develop some sort of shell to survive dealing with the disappointment and the pain of seeing a loved one suffer. I understand her embarrassment even though the video has ultimately created incredible opportunities for this man.
Fortunately, I haven't had to directly deal with an addiction of that magnitude. I watch Dr. Phil (ha ha), I read about it and I know people that have been through this and at some point you have to let them hit rock bottom so they can recover. I feel for his Mother and anyone that is exposed to the national spot light to that extent. She isn't trying to be politically correct and she doesn't have to answer to anyone for her comments. Mrs. Williams came from a generation where you say what you think and where family issues are private issues. Sometimes, I wonder if we coddle and encourage a little too much. Our children need to learn how to deal with downs that life can bring because we can't always be there to rescue them. I could see that Ms. Viera didn't know how to respond because the world is filled with so much politically correct bullshit right now.
I was kind of irriated with Perez Hilton when he felt the need to post Ted William's arrest reccord. HELLO! He was homeless because self-admittadly he had a drug and alcohol problem Why are you trying to squash his opportunity to pull himself out of the hole he dug for himself? That was just mean.
Here is a man who went from being homeless to many incredible opportunites within hours. He is dealing with lots of regret, optimism and emotions and he is doing it in the national spotlight. That can't be good for anyone. I hope that in addition to the opportunities he is also receiving guidance. I'm sure we will see judgement from others on his Mother's reactions to all of this. Don't judge--we don't know where she is coming from and I could see that he loves her and he wants her to be proud of him. I would hope that all of us want our parents to be proud of us but most of all we want them to love us. Sometimes, that love can hurt the one that loves you more than the one being loved when you see them being self-destructive. Maybe I have rambled a little too much but the intense media scrutiny becomes too much. Let it go and let him and his family recover in private or I fear his story will not end well.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Rear View Mirror needed please.
There is a very popular saying and I'm not sure who I should credit, it is "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" and it seems it should be added but keep looking behind you. In today's world we have the ability to video tape from our phones, take pictures, and send information via the web or by email and this information can spread like wild fire. A Navy Captain was recently demoted due to a video he produced and played to help morale for his crew during a long deployment. There are so many sides to consider, that I don't even know where to begin.
Part of me wants to say that the court of public opinion should not judge the military and their unique way of handling things, however, there have been several instances when important issues were not being dealt with by the military until they were made public. The bigger picture in all of this, is should we be held accountable for a bad judgement call 4-5 years after the incident? Let's assume that the Captain was disciplined in some manner at that time. Is it fair to have a very bad judgement call pop back up on television and affect his position now?
Let's assume that all of us evolve into a better person based on mistakes we have made in the past and the lessons we have learned from those mistakes, shouldn't we be able to move on with some confidence that it is behind us? How do we make our children, teenagers and young adults aware that pictures, videos and on-line postings could haunt them for the rest of their life? We either need to develop some tolerance for stupid mistakes or create an extremely paranoid society.
In my opinion, celebrities and politicians have pursued careers that mean constant judgement and being haunted and stalked by the media in one way or another. The rest of us are simple human beings, living our lives, making mistakes along the way without the expectation of being judged due to a random video or picture. I've said this before, it is very easy to judge someone's actions without knowing all of the circumstances, I've done it before, but it isn't always the right judgement. I am very scared and worried about our children--the obsession with videoing, You Tubing, texting,etc can have some very dire consequences today and 5 years down the road. Maybe the Amish are on to something, all of this technology and exposure to eveything can be bad for our mental health ,careers and most importantly, our souls.
Part of me wants to say that the court of public opinion should not judge the military and their unique way of handling things, however, there have been several instances when important issues were not being dealt with by the military until they were made public. The bigger picture in all of this, is should we be held accountable for a bad judgement call 4-5 years after the incident? Let's assume that the Captain was disciplined in some manner at that time. Is it fair to have a very bad judgement call pop back up on television and affect his position now?
Let's assume that all of us evolve into a better person based on mistakes we have made in the past and the lessons we have learned from those mistakes, shouldn't we be able to move on with some confidence that it is behind us? How do we make our children, teenagers and young adults aware that pictures, videos and on-line postings could haunt them for the rest of their life? We either need to develop some tolerance for stupid mistakes or create an extremely paranoid society.
In my opinion, celebrities and politicians have pursued careers that mean constant judgement and being haunted and stalked by the media in one way or another. The rest of us are simple human beings, living our lives, making mistakes along the way without the expectation of being judged due to a random video or picture. I've said this before, it is very easy to judge someone's actions without knowing all of the circumstances, I've done it before, but it isn't always the right judgement. I am very scared and worried about our children--the obsession with videoing, You Tubing, texting,etc can have some very dire consequences today and 5 years down the road. Maybe the Amish are on to something, all of this technology and exposure to eveything can be bad for our mental health ,careers and most importantly, our souls.
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