On October 11, 2002 Annette Geiser and Darrell Reagan said those two little words that bind two people and their families together "till death do us part". I'll be the first to say that until death do us part is hard! I was 39 years old when I got married. My Aunt Donna actually hugged Darrell and said, "I can't believe she did it. I thought she would never get married." That was very encouraging for my husband on our wedding day. I have had other long term relationships but the weight of the commitment was not there. I'll be the first to say that I've always had issues with commitment--it took me way too long to buy a house. The week after I got a VERY small, easy to hide tattoo I had a panic attack due to the permanence of that spur of the moment decision. It was a MAJOR MAJOR decision when I got my first dog--Bubba, the Akita. Eventually, I bought a house, I started to laser off the tattoo but it hurt like hell so I haven't finished and Bubba went everywhere with me for eleven years. When Darrell Reagan asked me to marry him, I said yes. I teased him about the manner of the proposal but as he says, every time he had a big plan, I did something to make him mad and question his decision. True Story. We quickly planned a beautiful wedding in front of our friends and family.
So at the age of 39 I finally got married and a year later I became a mother. We were married in October, Blake was born in September--do the math, it was not a shot gun wedding. When people, would ask me why I wasn't married I would say, "Because I'm hard to get along with." Honestly, sometimes, I am. I like to get my way, I am very opinionated, I am stubborn and I can be what I call "stupid stubborn" (my brother does that too.) . I also have a tendency to separate myself from others when I'm mad or sad. Conversely, I think I can be a lot of fun to be with, I am generous and I am very protective of my family and my home. Darrell is very easy going and seems quiet but he is not a push over. He is a little more sensitive then what I was used to and he is very smart. I'm not saying I'm smarter than most people but I can convince people that I'm right. Due to his intelligence, he could shoot holes through most of my arguments despite my high level of passion. In the beginning, it was tough to say the least but we persevered and we made it to the ten year mark. What was the over and under on that? Some people say that I changed a lot when I became a mother but it was really the combination of the marriage and our baby.
When I look at my parents who have been married almost 50 years, the 10 year mark seems like a small stepping stone but I truly believe that my stubbornness (and his) is a strength and the secret to a marriage that lasts. There were times that we wanted to give up but we didn't. I'm sure there were times my parents wanted to give up but they didn't. You also need anchors like your children, your belief in the commitment to each other and to both of our families. I can't imagine life without my Mom and Dad and brothers and sisters and I can't imagine my life without Pama and Papa, Kate, John, Addy, Marlena and Karston.
We have shared incredibly joyous occasions like the birth of our son. We have shared painfully sad occasions when I cried like a blubbering idiot. Darrell is always there for me to help me smile, to help me heal and to help me make important decisions. Nothing could erase or take away these moments in our life. We aren't perfect and we don't get along all of the time but we are still together.
Cheers to 10 more years together Darrell Reagan--I love you.
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