Bullies

It's been a long time.  I have to be inspired to write and quite frankly, I haven't had anything substantial to spout about thus no blog.  Bullying is a touchy subject these days.  We hear about it all of the time, yet it still occurs and it makes me mad.  Bully's are usually big guys picking on little guys and in my opinion they are cowards.  There are extreme cases that have been in the news and I have had friends tell me of some extreme cases involving their children.  I'm amazed at the cruelty of children, teenagers, and girls and it makes me wonder if we are neglecting the need to teach empathy.

On the other hand, I also think that the word bully and bullying tend to be over-used.  For instance, a mother of three in great physical shape, posted a picture of herself on Facebook and was accused of bullying other mothers who do not look as good.  Quite frankly, I say, "You go girl!"  I own the fact that I dol not have a body like that because I lack the self discipline to dedicate myself to eating the way I need to along with consistently exercising to look like that.  She on the other hand is willing to do those things therefore she has a great body.  Is the fact that she is showing that off bullying?

There is a highly publicized case in Florida of a girl who was cyber-bullied then committed suicide.  Girls actually told her you should die and told her ways she should kill herself.  Teenagers vent and communicate via social media whether it be on Facebook, twitter or snapshot.  If there is a tiff, you will probably be called out in one form or another.  Your name may or may not be used.  Is that mere act cyber-bullying?  What if you started the fight?

We recently discovered that our son got in trouble at school for fighting but he was actually trying to stop a bully.  So, tell him to leave the bully alone and let him continue with his vulgar behavior thus stay out of trouble or tell him to do what he thinks is right and stop the bully?  There are varying degrees of bullying and we all went through our own types of bullies and I believe that my bullies taught me survival skills that I still use today.  My husband and I try to protect our son while still teaching him to stick up for himself.  I remember when he was little playing at a playground and a bigger kid was picking on him.  Darrell told the kid, "I'm not going to step in but I'm warning you, if he fights back, I won't stop him."  Blake did eventually fight back and he won--he always does but the frustration is that in school, he gets in trouble.

Here is my concern, by over-using the term, are we desensitizing ourselves so much that we still don't see the REAL bullies, the REAL mean girls and lose sight of the REAL victims.  Awareness is key but bullies are good liars and they are good at attacking when they won't be seen.    So, the bullies aren't always transparent.  Our children need to know that they can come to us, they need to learn empathy, and they need to know to make adults aware.  I don't know about you but in our family, you mess with one, you mess with all of us.  And you know what?  Every single one of us needs to stand up for the under dog every once in a while.   The only way to stamp out bullies is not to be one and to call them out when you see one however, when it comes to bullies, let's be real.  A mom in great shape is not a bully.  A girl responding to crap being said about her in social media is not cyber-bullying.  It's not even the same playing field.